


Arranging the Physics of Professional Relationships

by pushkin666



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Darkfic, Drug Use, M/M, Rape, Unrequited Love, kavanagh is a sick puppy, non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-31
Updated: 2010-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-06 21:24:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushkin666/pseuds/pushkin666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darkfic - Multi-Chaptered. Kavanagh and Rodney have been assisting new allies. What Rodney doesn't know is that Kavanagh has been getting to know Rodney better by drugging and raping him.</p><p>Graphic rape, drug use, tons of angst, unrequited love on Carson's side. Not a rape recovery fic.  There will be no magical healing cock here.</p><p>If you are a Peter Kavanagh fan I would recommend you don't read this fic because he really isn't very nice in it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Crawling, sliding all over him, the feel of the other man's body twining around him … holding him tight and suffocating him like a snake with its prey.

Rodney lay on the cold stiff sheets, sheets so different from those in his quarters back on Atlantis. He closed his eyes and tried to think of those sheets; soft Egyptian cotton, the highest thread count he could find. He'd purchased a number of sets last time he was on Earth. He loved the feel of them, loved rolling, snuggling into them like a cat. Something he couldn't do here. He didn't know what he'd been given; what drug they'd put into his food or his drink but whatever it was it stopped him from moving, from protesting what was being done to him. His inability to move didn't bother the man on top of him though, if anything it ... excited him more.

Small movements were still available to him and so he was able to close his eyes, to try and pretend this wasn't happening to him. It didn't help. Kavanagh's endless stream of filth poured from his lips as he told Rodney in explicit detail what he was going to do to him over the coming hours. Calling him whore and slut as he spread Rodney's legs and settled between them.

He'd stripped Rodney and sat at his side, on the bed; running his hand up and down Rodney's body, tracing the outline of Rodney's shape before removing his own clothes. The bed was larger than those on Atlantis, allowing Rodney to normally relax in these temporary quarters he'd been provided with, allowing him to fling out his arms and legs on the bed ... to enjoy the space. Now though the size of the bed simply allowed him to spread out in a different way. Kavanagh positioning him as if Rodney were a toy he could play with, a toy to move however and wherever he liked.

Up until now he'd enjoyed these trips off world, well as much as he could with Kavanagh as his constant companion. The people seemed friendly and intelligent and willing to provide food stuffs to Atlantis in return for help on clearing through the Ancient ruins on their lands; ruins that held a multitude of devices that needed investigation and where possible, repair. He hated being in Kavanagh's constant company but the other scientist was the Lead Scientist on the team that made contact with the J'Sdians. Because of that they requested that he be present whenever the Atlantians came to help. Rodney had tried to argue the point with them, telling them he didn't need Kavanagh's help but he'd been ignored. He remembered telling Sheppard just how much he despised Kavanagh. He distrusted the man intensely and loathed being in his company. The only reason Kavanagh was still on Atlantis was because, despite his 'personality' he was in fact an excellent scientist.

 

Rodney shivered, sickened by the feel of Kavanagh's hands exploring him; not hurting him physically but breaking Rodney down, shattering him with their persistent encroachment.

Warm hands slowly starting at his feet, stroking and touching every inch of his flesh. He swallowed as Kavanagh's fingers were followed by the soft heat of his tongue as he moved up Rodney's legs to his thighs.

One quick lick to his cock and Kavanagh bypassed it, carrying on his inexorable journey up. Extra time was taken to stroke and lathe Rodney's soft belly; the wisp of Kavanagh's stubble sharp against his flesh, his tongue dipping repeatedly into Rodney's belly button. His hips were gripped tightly as Kavanagh came for the first time, his come splattering against Rodney's legs. Rodney whimpered as Kavanagh rested his head against his belly, his breath gasped out against Rodney's cold and shivering flesh.

He couldn't believe this was happening to him, couldn't believe he was lying here in this place. Lying here drugged and unable to stop what was being done to him. Nobody to help him, the only person close by being Kavanagh. He squeezed his eyes tighter and hoped that Kavanagh wouldn't notice the tears beginning to trickle down his face.

Kavanagh was observant though and when he lifted his head from Rodney's belly and saw the tears he laughed softly, mocking him, calling him the 'Great Rodney McKay' as he licked the tears up; small sounds of pleasure coming from his mouth at the taste of salt and the way the helpless man twitched beneath him.

He laughed as Rodney screwed up his eyes as tight as he possibly could. He moved down Rodney's face, his tongue once again chasing his fingers as they now caressed and stroked Rodney's neck before nipping at his ears, making Rodney reluctantly jerk and groan in pleasure before continuing down. Rodney gasped as his nipples were pinched hard until they stood upright. He groaned as first one and then the other was drawn into the furnace of Kavanagh's mouth to be sucked and nipped before being released.

His eyes opened in panic as he was slowly rolled onto his belly. His head was carefully lifted and turned to the side, a pillow placed under it.

"Don't want you suffocating now do we?" the comment was murmured from behind.

His fear increased as his legs were spread again and Kavanagh's hands moved between them to stroke his thighs and then to softly caress his backside slowly, oh so carefully feeling the shape and contours.

He heard noises behind him and then Kavanagh was sliding a wet and slippery finger into his cleft, rubbing it against him, circling his hole before adding more and more of the lubricant until it was dripping between his thighs onto the sheets below. Rodney tried to move, to close his legs and stop this from happening but his body wouldn't obey him. He lay there, fine tremors running through his body as Kavanagh breached his body with one finger. He could feel it slowly invading him, gently moving until a further finger was added and then another, until there were three fingers exploring him as much inside as they had outside.

Kavanagh's fingers were long and thin and Rodney whimpered as they pumped in and out of him until a fourth and final finger was added. As the fingers moved in and out of him spreading the oil, Kavanagh's tongue was back at work, soft delicate licks along the top of his thighs and around his cleft. He yelped as Kavanagh bit down hard, no doubt leaving a mark, letting him know that he'd been there. Not that he'd be likely to forget this, especially with those fingers twisting up and around rubbing against his prostrate. He trembled as his cock began to harden and his breath quickened. He was shamed to realise that he was getting hard from Kavanagh's ministrations. Kavanagh's hand came around under him. The man chuckled as he felt the semi-hardness of Rodney's cock.

"Such an eager slut." He told him.

Rodney breathed a sigh of relief when the hands finally left his cock and his ass.

"Oh no," Kavanagh whispered in his ear, breath ghosting against him. "You don't get off that lightly. I'm going to fuck you like this later. Gonna watch my cock slide in and out of your plump ass and then I'm gonna pull you back until you're sitting in my lap, impaled on my cock!"

He turned Rodney until he was flat on his back again with his legs spread, a pillow under his bottom raising him up, displaying him for Kavanagh's lascivious gaze. For one moment his frightened eyes caught the intent and knowing look and then he closed them, trying desperately to escape this reality. A reality where his legs were being spread as wide as possible, the pain inside as Kavanagh's cock pushed into him, filling him until his balls rested against Rodney, his pubic hair as harsh and unforgiving as his facial stubble.

Rodney tried to think of other things; tried to make his mind go away but he couldn't. Kavanagh was whispering again, his words filling the space of the room as his cock pushed again and again into Rodney. His thrusts were perfectly timed to match the strokes his hand was making on Rodney's cock, the shots of pain as Kavanagh bit at his neck.

Rodney groaned as he came, his orgasm leaving him feeling lost and cold inside. All he could feel as he lay there; an empty shell, was the soft licking of Kavanagh's tongue on his face, licking up his tears once more as he continued to thrust into him.


	2. Chapter 2

Time no longer held any meaning for Rodney. He'd no idea just how long they lay together in this room. He knew it was hours though. They no longer needed the overhead lights for Kavanagh to see him, now bright sunlight filtered in through the sheer covers on the windows. The sun shone through and surrounded Kavanagh as Rodney looked up at him. Like a halo! he thought in despair.

He wondered how much longer this could go on, when it would stop. Rodney choked back a sob. He didn't want to cry in front of Kavanagh again, didn't want to feel the soft tongue once more licking up his tears, drinking down his despair and forced submission as he was turned and arranged onto Kavanagh's lap.

"Oh yeah!" Rodney cringed at the words. "You're so fucking hot like this, McKay. I should keep you like this always." Kavanagh traced the shell of Rodney's ear before he bit down gently. Rodney whimpered and Kavanagh chuckled. "You like that don't you? It's funny but I never thought you'd be such a slut for cock ... my cock!"

He gasped as Kavanagh spread his legs wider over his own and pulled Rodney closer to him. He thought about how he must look in Kavanagh's lap ... impaled on his cock with his head pulled back so Kavanagh could feast upon his ears and neck; licking, biting and tasting him.

Kavanagh thrust up hard and Rodney's head spun as his prostrate was hit again. He groaned. "That's it," Kavanagh growled. Rodney groaned again as his cock was softly stroked, Kavanagh's thumb rubbing gently over the weeping slit. So much deeper this time, so much deeper than the previous times ... Kavanagh's cock so deep inside him, tunnelling into him, leaving Kavanagh's mark on him.

Rodney wanted to die. He'd never thought this could happen to him, never realised how this would feel. Oh, he could appreciate how a man looked but that was as far as he'd taken it. He looked, he was human after all. In fact there was somebody he'd looked at quite more than once but that was as far as it went. He figured there were enough problems finding women that were interested in him to even bother thinking about trying to see if he could take it any further with a man. Besides his work took precedent over everything. It always had and always would. At least that's what he'd told himself on those lonely nights in Antarctica. If anything Atlantis was ever lonelier; despite his finding friends, close friends in John, Radek and of course Carson. He turned his thoughts away from Carson. Didn't want to be thinking of his friend at a time like this. He wondered if he should be grateful for this human touch, however warped and sick that might be. It was all he was likely to receive for the foreseeable future.

His ass was sore from its continued use. Kavanagh had already used him so much, he couldn't remember how many times now. They seemed to fade into one another. He ached. His subordinate couldn't seem to get enough of him. It was almost as though Rodney were a banquet for a starving man, the way he was being feasted upon. Was this something that Kavanagh always wanted to do to him? he wondered. Did Kavanagh fantasize about this when they were working together? He felt sick at the idea, sick from the misuse of his body and sick from the presumed cocktail of drugs in his body. He wondered fleetingly if the antibiotics that Carson gave him prior to his leaving Atlantis would react to whatever drug he'd been given here.

He groaned in both pain and pleasure as Kavanagh continued to fuck him, hitting his prostrate again and again. Kavanagh initially moved Rodney up and down his cock, gripping Rodney's hips with his hard fingers, leaving the unforgiving bruises as a patchwork on Rodney's pale skin. As the rape continued his hands left Rodney's hips, to go wandering over his body ... finding and playing with Rodney's nipples and cock. Kavanagh's own hips continued to work for him, thrusting up into Rodney, the soft repetitive movements almost were lulling Rodney into sleep. His head sagged back to rest against Kavanagh's chest. He was so tired; both physically and mentally, but he couldn't drift off, much as he'd like too. Kavanagh was speaking now and he began to focus on Kavanagh's words, words that shocked him to the core.

" ... but you know how it is don't you? If at first you don't succeed try, try again." Kavanagh laughed. "Hmm! They always say third time lucky don't they? Not that you'll remember anything." He ran his tongue slowly over the shell of Rodney's ear before biting down gently. He carried on softly talking. "It's a pity really that you won't remember. Although there is also a beauty in that fact. No matter how many times I do this to you, you just won't remember it happening. When you wake up you won't recollect anything about this. The Pegasus version of Roofie and it's mine to give to you."  
Rodney listened in horror as Kavanagh continued to talk about the drug. Oh my God. he thought. This has happened before. He'd done this to me before and I didn't remember. No! he told himself. It can't be true. He's just trying to play with your mind. Ignore him. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the man's voice, trying to think of something else but he couldn't. All he could think about were Kavanagh's words, what it meant to him. How had' they known though? There'd been no marks, nothing to show for this having happened before. He shivered as Kavanagh softly began to stroke his sensitive cock, his hand moving up and down until he quickly brought Rodney to orgasm. He cried out, a soft cry more of pain than pleasure. Kavanagh thrust up in him once more and then again, before filling Rodney's bowels with his spunk, his hands tightening on Rodney as he came.

He was pushed off the man's lap and laid flat on his bed again. Kavanagh moved until he was sitting next to him. Rodney listened to the sound of the man drinking and then a moment later his head was lifted and a glass placed to his mouth. He swallowed the drink gratefully, anything to get the bitter taste of come from his mouth. He wondered before what it would be like to suck a man's cock. Now he knew, Kavanagh pushing him to his knees on the floor and fucking his mouth, then later doing the same thing on the bed, straddling Rodney's face as he lay flat on his back, his cock sliding in and out, making Rodney gag as it hit the back of his throat before Kavanagh came in his mouth, laughing as the spunk dripped out of Rodney's mouth onto the sheets below, as he'd desperately tried to swallow, to stop himself from choking.

He twitched as Kavanagh's hands pressed down on the bruises on his hips, pain flaring through him as Kavanagh dug the tips of his fingers into the bruises, pressing down until Rodney cried out in pain. Kavanagh sighed.

"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. You should see yourself McKay - how you look decorated with my marks. I wish these could stay. I'd love you to still have these tomorrow." He sighed again. "Thankfully I do have some photographs to remember this by, and of course there are always the memories to keep me going until we have to visit again. Amazing stuff they have here." His voice took on a friendlier tone as he continued to press down on the bruises. Rodney bit his lip to stop himself from crying out again, refusing to give Kavanagh the satisfaction of knowing he was continuing to hurt him.

Kavanagh looked up and smiled at him. "They have this fantastic cream. It heals all sorts of things, leaves no trace. Beckett would kill to get his hands on it, not that he ever will. You know, you should try and make friends with people off world once in a while, McKay. Try and make the effort. It's amazing what happens when you do, the things that they show you! But then we all know your capacity for making friends. The only reason you have 'friends' on Atlantis is because they can't get away from you." He laughed scornfully as his fingers carried on mapping out the edges of the bruising, the purples already showing up clearly on Rodney's pale skin.


	3. Chapter 3

"Colonel Sheppard," his arm was caught and he stopped, looked back at Tam. The J'Sdian looked nervous and the back of John's neck began to prickle; something was wrong here. He'd didn't know what it was but Tam seemed reluctant to take him to Rodney; turning away John's queries, telling him that Dr McKay was sleeping late and couldn't be disturbed. John stared for a moment and then simply turned to where he knew McKay's quarters were, Ronon following him with the J'Sdian bringing up the rear, all the time protesting. John ignored him. An emergency on Atlantis required McKay's expertise. The doctor wasn't responding to their hails and Elizabeth ordered John to fetch him. Although Zelenka was more than capable at getting things under control it was still felt that Rodney should return to Atlantis. Kavanagh could stay planet side and continue helping their allies.

Something was wrong through. John didn't know what it was but his 'spidey sense' had begun to tingle from the moment they couldn't raise McKay and Tam's demeanour was doing nothing to ease his concern.

"Look," he stopped and glared at Tam. "Just what is the problem?" Tam bit his lip and looked away. John sighed He really didn't like the liaison the J'Sdians had provided them with; the way the man crept around Kavanagh, ignoring Rodney and directing all of his queries to the pony-tailed scientist. That annoyed John. No matter how annoying McKay could be, and yes that was a lot, at the end of the day he was twice, no, three times the scientist Kavanagh was.

"Well?" a response would be nice!

"Dr McKay is busy." Tam said.

John glanced over at Ronon. "What do you mean busy? I thought you said he was sleeping in!"

Tam put his fingertips together, creating a steeple. He looked down at John and didn't John find that annoying, the fact that the other man was taller than him. "He is with Peter." he told them.

Peter! Oh, John didn't like the sound of that.

"Doing what?" he asked.

Tam's gaze slid away and John could feel Ronon going still at his side, heard him cocking his weapon. This was bad. John turned away, striding quickly toward Rodney's quarters, taking his weapon out of its holster, Ronon's firm steps behind him. He stopped outside the door to Rodney's quarters. Tam was visibly sweating now and John's foreboding grew. He pushed the other man up against the wall and raised his gun. Drawing a weapon on an ally was something that Elizabeth would no doubt protest but at this moment he didn't care.

"All right," he said softly. "You'd better tell me exactly what's going on." He pressed the gun against Tam's neck, watched as he swallowed …

 

**********

John burst through the door and stopped in shock at the tableau before him.

"Oh my God! Close the door." he told Ronon. He sighed in relief as Ronon did as he instructed, closing the door and pushing Tam up against it, holding him there.

Nothing they'd been told by Tam had really prepared him for this. He turned toward the bed, their precipitous entrance into the room not seeming to have been noticed by the two on the bed. The only movement appeared to be from Kavanagh as he thrust into Rodney. He didn't appear to have noticed their entrance; he was so engrossed in what he was doing.

Striding forward John grabbed Kavanagh by his hair and pulled his head back.

"What the fuck?" he stared. Kavanagh's eyes, almost black with lust, glazed with want and need looked blindly up at him. John gazed down at Rodney in shock before backhanding Kavanagh, the strength of the blow splitting open Kavanagh's lips. He grabbed Kavanagh by his arms and pulled him off the bed and out of the man spread out beneath him. Kavanagh groaned as he fell to his knees on the floor - his hard-on still evident. John threw Ronon a glance before turning back to the bed. His breath caught at the sight of his friend. Rodney lay on his back; legs spread obscenely wide, fluid dripping from between them. Bites and finger shaped bruising adorned his body, like the shading on a butterfly's wings and dried spunk decorated his chest, belly and thighs. His breathing was harsh and low and his vacant blue eyes glazed up at the ceiling. He didn't even seem to have noticed their arrival or the fact that he was now alone on the bed.

"Hey buddy," John stepped forward and tentatively touched Rodney's shoulder. Nothing, no reaction except for a slight hitch in his breathing. John didn't touch him further, other than to place a cover over the cold and clammy flesh, hiding him from sight. Turning his back on the bed he looked over at Kavanagh. Quick work indeed. Kavanagh now wore a pair of trousers. He was sat in a chair with his hands tied behind him to the chair. Not a single mark showed on his body other than the split lip from John's blow.

John clenched his fist and took a deep breath trying to calm himself. He could feel the beast beginning to rise - the darkness he occasionally let out knew that he wanted to hurt Kavanagh and hurt him badly.

"Get Carson." he told Ronon. "I'll stay here and watch these two. And Ronon, Carson only, nobody else sees this room - take that with you." he nodded toward Tam. Ronon held his eyes for a moment before nodding and leaving to find the doctor, pushing the silent J'Sdian in front of him.

John pushed a chair under the door handle to stop it opening before turning back to Kavanagh. Silently he walked around Kavanagh before stopping in front of him and kicking his legs apart.

"Dr Kavanagh, perhaps you'd like to explain what exactly happened here. These people are supposed to be our allies and Tam didn't seem to want to bring us here." Kavanagh looked up at him in relief, not noticing John's eyes.

"We were drugged." Kavanagh said hastily. "Everything was fine for a couple of days; we'd been working on the hydraulics for them. Like last month Scientist Tam invited us to have dinner with himself and his partner. McKay complained as usual but he came along in the end. It was food after all, you know he'll go anywhere for that!" He didn't notice how John's lips tightened at the disdain in his voice. "They were asking questions about sex and stuff. McKay got embarrassed and flustered and wanted to leave. They said we couldn't leave without having some Rakid. It's their final drink of the night and you know it's an insult to refuse to drink it with them. We had a glass each and that was the last I remember until we woke up here. " He gazed up beseechingly at John. "They drugged us Colonel, made us do things we didn't want ... wouldn't normally do!" John dropped to the floor before him and crouched between his legs.

"So tell me," he said looking up at Kavanagh. "How come Rodney is in the state he's in and you're like this? Actually don't bother to answer. It appeared to me as though you were enjoying yourself when we arrived."

He reached forward and taking Kavanagh's balls in his left hand he squeezed. Kavanagh yelled as John's fingers dug in.

"I'll tell you what happened shall I?" John continued, his voice now dangerously soft. "You raped him, quite a few times from the look of things. Tam told us exactly what was going on, after I ... persuaded him to talk that is."

He stepped behind Kavanagh watching as the scientist tensed. "I'm not going to kill you. That would be too quick and I don't have time to really make it last. I am going to hurt you though." He put right hand behind Kavanagh's ear and found the pressure point he was looking for. He pressed down firmly, clapping his other hand over Kavanagh's mouth to silence the scream.

"Useful things they teach you in Black Ops." he commented. "One of those things is how to cause maximum pain without leaving a mark."

He moved his hand away from the pressure point and Kavanagh sagged back onto the seat, tears of pain in his eyes.

"Don't get too comfortable," John told him. "We're just getting started."

Finding the pressure point again on Kavanagh's neck he pressed down. He knew he didn't have a lot of time before Ronon returned with Carson. Kavanagh cried out in pain and John silenced him once again with his hand. He continued to press down until finally Kavanagh passed out.

He was checking Rodney again when the door rattled. John picked up his gun.

"Who is it?" he called.

"Ronon. Open the door, Sheppard."

John kept his gun to hand but moved the chair away from the door and backed away, until he was standing in front of Kavanagh. "It's open," he called.

Carson barrelled into the room, Ronon following. "Colonel!" He moved toward Kavanagh, not immediately seeing Rodney and obviously not having been given the full picture by Ronon.

"Leave him." John said. "You need to check Rodney first. I can't get him to wake up, he's just lying there." He watched as Carson pulled back the blanket covering Rodney. Carson paled as he took in the state of his friend.

"Oh my God, Rodney!" John turned away and began untying Kavanagh. Carson pulled on his arm.

"Colonel, we need to get him back to Atlantis straight away. I've bought a gurney with me as from the looks of him he shouldn't relay be walking. And, what's wrong with Dr Kavanagh?"

"Nothing serious." John said. "Ronon can carry Kavanagh although if it were up to me we'd leave him here."

Carson started at John's harsh tone staring for a moment at him. He said nothing though but simply turned back to Rodney, muttering as he looked him over, trying to make him comfortable for the journey back to Atlantis.


	4. Chapter 4

**ATLANTIS SICK BAY**

"Carson, do you have anything I can report back to Elizabeth?"

Beckett looked up from the report he was studying and regarded the colonel. Sheppard looked tense and worn out but he had haunted the sick bay since they'd brought Rodney and Kavanagh back.

"I've examined Dr Kavanagh and spoken to him at length about what happened on the planet. His story differs from the one given to you by Scientist Tam. He states he was given a drug that, in his words turned him into a sex crazed beast." He watched as John tensed. "I've taken samples of his blood and we're still analysing it."

"And you believe him, even though we were told different?" Sheppard said disbelievingly.

Carson stared at him. "I didn't say that, Colonel. I am simply explaining to you what he told me. He also tells me that you assaulted him whilst he was tied up." His blue eyes caught John's.

"I see."

"I don't know if you do, Colonel! I have given him a thorough examination and there are no marks to substantiate his allegations against you. There was no reason for me to disbelieve his explanation for his actions but then I examined Rodney."

"And ..."

Carson looked stricken. "From the state of Rodney's body when he was found he was made to orgasm repeatedly. You understand that don't you? He was made to enjoy what was happening to him!" He crumpled the report between his fingers, before smoothing it out again. "I'm no psychiatrist, Colonel, but those don't appear to be the actions of a drug crazed rapist. Those are the actions of somebody who knew exactly what he was doing." He watched as the colonel blanched and looked sick. Sheppard was always so self contained you never really knew what would spark a reaction in him.  
Carson knew exactly how he was feeling, more so, he was the one who'd examined Rodney upon his arrival in sick bay. He wanted to kill Kavanagh with his bare hands. He knew full well that the colonel was responsible for hurting Kavanagh but he certainly wasn't going to back up the man's claims of assault. He would cover for Sheppard; he only wished more could be done to Kavanagh.

"And Rodney?" John asked shakily.

Carson's stomach knotted. "I've done a very thorough examination. Whatever drugs were in his system have now dissipated. From his reactions it seems as though the drugs had a paralysing effect. I suspect Rodney would have been totally aware of everything that was done to him but he wouldn't have been able to stop it." He watched as Sheppard's hand instinctively moved to his gun before the colonel checked himself.

"I cannot find any trace of drugs in his blood."

He looked down at the creased report on his desk, kept his eyes turned away from Sheppard. He knew at the moment he wouldn't be able to hide how he felt from this very perceptive man. Didn't want him to know of his own feelings for Rodney, feelings that up until now he'd been able to keep hidden from Rodney and the people around him.

"He's been repeatedly penetrated, there's some tearing although thankfully it's not too serious. Kavanagh seems to have been very ... careful in his penetration of Rodney. I've been able to stitch the tearing. He has a multitude of bruises and bites. Physically he'll recover. I'll be honest with you, it's his mental state I'm concerned about. He was unresponsive when we brought him in but I suspect he may have simply chosen to block everything out as a way of dealing with the assault.

I also undertook a deep tissue examination and what I found was … "his voice faltered. "What I found was disturbing."

John stared at him. "What do you mean a deep tissue examination?"

Carson leant back. "We've been investigating some of the Ancients' machines and we've found one that will enable us to look at the different layers of skin, to ascertain what damage there is that's not shown on the surface. It's absolutely fascinating. As you know sometimes when skin heals, bruising disappears it leaves a memory on the deeper levels. What concerned me was the state of the sub-cutaneous level. You say that when you spoke to Scientist Tam he told you about an ointment they have that heals any wounds. Well it only heals what can be seen. The results produced by the machine showed overlapping marks, marks that were quite old.

John's hands tightened. "Do you have any idea from the marks how long it's been going on?"

"I'd say as long as he's been accompanying Kavanagh to that planet." He rubbed his eyes. "Sometimes it's better to not know things."

"Has he spoken to you yet?" John asked.

"Other than to say my name, no."

"Do you think he'll recover?"

Carson sighed. "I don't know, Colonel. He'll need to spend time with myself and Heightmeyer. You need to be prepared though, Colonel. The Dr Rodney McKay we know may well not return. It's unlikely he'll be the same man after this."

"I see." and Carson knew that he really did. The colonel was no fool. John stood. "I need to report to Dr Weir. If there's any change would you please let me know."

Carson nodded. "I will. Oh, and Colonel." John turned back to him. "Get Kavanagh off Atlantis. I don't want that man anywhere in Rodney's vicinity again. Get him shipped back to Earth, strand him on some planet, hell let the Wraith take him. I don't really care, just get rid of him. Because if you don't I will!"

John stared at him for a moment, seeing more than Carson had intended. He gave him a grim smile, a smile that said he recognised exactly where Carson was coming from. Nodding curtly he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Carson sunk his head into his hands, trying to block everything out.


	5. Chapter 5

Carson rubbed his eyes. He was so tired but he wasn't going to leave the sick bay. He would stay with Rodney until the sedated scientist woke up properly. He didn't want Rodney to awaken and find himself alone. He looked down at his friend. Rodney looked pale, small and vulnerable in the hospital bed. Without his vibrant personality he almost faded into non-existence.

Rodney was normally so brimming with life, so energetic that very few people recognised just how tired he was. How worn out with the constant battles against the Wraith and the other horrors that the Pegasus Galaxy brought. Even now with the renewed contact with Earth and their ability to travel through the Stargate to Earth, Rodney's burden was still heavy. Carson wondered whether anybody but himself was aware of Rodney's mental and physical state. This was something he had mentioned to Rodney; Carson requesting that Rodney take some downtime, only to be refused on each occasion.

Rodney was his best friend. If it were up to Carson though it would have progressed further from that into the realm of lovers. He'd held back though, knowing that Rodney had enough to think about, to deal with here on Atlantis.

He wished, though, that he had made his move that Rodney was possessed of an anchor to balance against this horror. For a while he'd made some tentative approaches to Rodney; asked some questions, some were answered, but he'd waited too long, held back. It was unfortunate – Carson knew that prior to the rape, Rodney was an innocent, a virgin to sex with a man.

Carson's grip tightened on Rodney's hands. He wondered whether Rodney would ever recover from this and wished with all of his heart that he'd been braver. That he had taken the extra step toward pursuing a relationship with his friend. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, brushing away the tears that were gathering. He must be strong. Rodney would need that. He would need Carson to be his friend, to support him. Thankfully very few people were aware of what had exactly happened to Rodney and he'd told Elizabeth it must stay that way. His Head Nurse knew, together with Heightmeyer and Radek. Both Weir and Heightmeyer felt that Radek should be told, he was Rodney's deputy and friend and worked closely with him. He, more than anybody, would need to understand the possible changes in Rodney.

Carson admitted to himself that he was stunned by Radek's reaction. He supposed he really shouldn't have been. The Czech was Rodney's friend after all, he was simply voicing what Carson, John and Ronon all felt. Upon being told Radek turned white, becoming deathly quiet before asking what was to happen to Kavanagh. He seemed very unsatisfied with Elizabeth's suggestion that they send Kavanagh back to Earth.

"Why?" he asked quietly. "Should he get away with this? Why should Rodney be destroyed and Kavanagh allowed going back to Earth as though nothing has happened?"

As he stared at Elizabeth, Carson realised that any romantic feelings the Czech was harbouring for her were swiftly being replaced by contempt.

"In my country," Radek said. "This would not go unpunished." He brushed aside Elizabeth's argument that to punish Kavanagh would mean letting people know what occurred, giving them details about the rape.

"Rodney wouldn't want people to know about this." she protested.

Carson watched whilst Radek turned cold eyes to her. "Why should this be brought into the public domain?" he continued questioning. "There are other ways of dealing with Kavanagh and nobody would be the wiser. But you Americans ..." he sneered. "You are all about openness and honour are you not? You would rather this man go free when Rodney will never be free of this. It will always be there to taunt him - that somebody he trusted did this; this thing to him and his friends did nothing to avenge him. Colonel Sheppard has told you what happened. Yes, we know what Kavanagh is claiming but we know the truth, do we not? We know this was not the first time this has happened. That Kavanagh gave Rodney drugs to make him compliant and then to forget what happened.

He will never forget this and you ... you say we can do nothing!"

**KAVANAGH'S QUARTERS**

He pushed the last of his books in and tried to close the container. Since the renewed contact with Earth his belongings seem to have doubled. He had not realised how many things he'd accumulated until it came the time to pack them up. He kicked the container, not caring that he was hurting his foot.

After all, what could one more thing do to hurt? He couldn't believe Weir was making him leave Atlantis. _How dare she!_ he thought angrily. _How dare she tell him that if he didn't leave she would bring him up on charges of rape!_ He wasn't responsible for his actions. He'd told her McKay wasn't the only one given drugs by the J'Sdians. Everybody seemed to forget that he'd been drugged as well.

Well that was his story and he was sticking with it. The real story of course was that in Tam he'd found a kindred spirit. He cursed, he hadn't realised how weak Tam would be. He should have stuck with the story that he, Kavanagh, had come up with for just such an eventuality as this. But no, he'd folded to Sheppard straight away; told him about the drugs, how they'd laughed at Rodney's naivety, how he'd taken Rodney again and again. Sometimes Tam would sit and watch the show and then help him clean Rodney up afterwards, rub ointment into him and change the sheets so McKay would have no idea what had happened to him.

Besides, it wasn't as if McKay was really raped. McKay enjoyed it! He'd made sure of that. He'd protested but Weir said nothing, simply staring at him in horror. Kavanagh kicked the box again. Weir's holier-than-thou attitude made him sick!  
How dare she do this to him? He was needed here, especially with McKay out of commission. He snorted. McKay was playing this for all he was worth, trying to be the injured party. He closed his eyes, remembering the sight of Rodney; those lips around his cock, that lovely plump ass just ripe for fucking. He groaned softly, his hand cupping his growing erection. Christ, the way McKay looked spread out for him on the bed, his cries of pain as he was fucked, the way he whimpered when he came.

Sitting down on the bed he pulled his cock out and began to stroke - hard strokes as he remembered how Rodney looked; debauched with his lips swollen, bruises and bites standing out on his body and his eyes, his bright blue eyes watching Kavanagh as he slid his cock into that tight passage. He tightened his hand and pumped harder. Imagined it was McKay's tight passage he was fucking. Rodney's muscles clenching around his cock as he sucked and bit at Rodney's nipples. He moaned and came at the image in his mind. Rodney McKay under him, writhing and crying out in pleasure as he rode him.

Gawds! He leant back on the bed panting. How could he give that up? He didn't want to leave. He liked working on Atlantis, the challenge of working with people as intelligent as himself. He loathed Zelenka. Could happily never see the Czech again but McKay, he loved working with the man despite the man's constant put downs. He wiped his hand on the bed and tucked himself back into his trousers. No matter what he said he knew that wouldn't let him stay. He thought back to the conversation with Weir, of her ultimatum of him leaving with his reputation 'intact' or being charged with rape. It wasn't rape dammit, if they'd just let him see McKay everything would be all right. He'd tried to visit but Beckett wouldn't let him into the sick bay, told him that Rodney was sleeping.

He knew that they would everything in their power to get rid of him, to convince Rodney that he ... Kavanagh, was his rapist!

So he was leaving, quietly, without fuss. For his health, as Weir said. Once back on Earth though he would campaign to be allowed back on Atlantis. He knew enough people in positions of power that it wouldn't be long before he was back and Weir wouldn't be able to do anything about it. In the meantime he would have his memories of Rodney to keep him going and he also had a supply of the drugs, well hidden, to keep him amused whilst he was on Earth.

************

 

**SHEPPARD'S QUARTERS**

"Sheppard!" John slowly pulled his attention away from the glass of vodka in his hand. He blinked and shook his head trying to see a little more clearly through the haze of alcohol.

"Ronon?" He knew in his mind that it must be Ronon, unless Radek had over the course of the evening grown several inches in height and gotten broader.

"Yes, Sheppard." the Satedan sounded amused at something. John wasn't exactly sure what. "Bed, Sheppard. Dr Zelenka has already left."

"Huh?" John shook his head again, big mistake he realised as the room started to spin in front of him. "I don't feel too good." he moaned.

"Hey!" he glared up at Ronon and tried to retrieve his glass as it was taken from him. "That's mine." He leant in against Ronon's solid bulk. He closed his eyes and rested his head against Ronon's shoulders only barely noticing the firm hands that held him upright. A moment later he was carefully lifted and carried into his bedroom before being deposited gently back on the bed. He groaned softly as his head was lifted and a glass was pressed to his mouth. He took a small sip before gratefully gulping down the cool water. His forehead was wiped with a damp cool cloth and he mumbled softly as Ronon removed his shirt and trousers. He tried to help, but his hands were pushed away.

"Sleep, Sheppard." he heard the words as he was laid carefully back on the bed. "You deserve it."

*********

Ronon refilled the glass with water and placed it on the table next to the bed. He looked down at Sheppard. John looked tired and drawn out, the recent events clearly showing that they had taken a toll upon him. Today though. Today was a good day, a day for revenge against their so called 'allies', those men responsible for the state of Dr McKay. Ronon was happy to have been able to stand guard with Sheppard whilst Dr Zelenka destroyed the J'Sdians DHD device thereby ensuring they could no longer use their Stargate to travel off world. A fitting punishment for their actions, and one that thankfully Dr Weir agreed, even though she had protested that it had been the actions of one man alone.

When they returned to Atlantis he was not surprised when Sheppard suggested they have a drink in his quarters to _celebrate. _ The colonel looked as though he was going to shatter into tiny pieces. Dr Zelenka excused himself for a short while before returning with two bottles of Vodka, a drink until then unknown to him. It was strong and fiery in his belly and he watched as Sheppard and Zelenka matched each other drink for drink. Many toasts and drinks later and he knew much more about the two men. Knew that no matter what Sheppard thought there was no way he could match the little scientist in drinking. Zelenka's eyes peering over his glasses, his smile triumphant as Sheppard sagged back into his seat with his eyes closed. He knew Sheppard was troubled over many things but he was now fully aware that Sheppard blamed himself wholly for Rodney's fate, declaring drunkenly that it was his responsibility to keep Rodney safe and he'd failed.

Sheppard looked broken then; his eyes pained and vulnerable and Ronon knew there was nothing he could do to stop him thinking that. All they could do was try and make amends. Today was a start but there were other things that needed doing. Glancing over at Zelenka he was not surprised when he simply nodded, saluted Ronon with his glass and finished his drink in one mouthful. They understood each other perfectly. This was not finished, irrespective of what Dr Weir said. Rodney was one of their own, he'd been hurt and he should be revenged. It was as simple as that.

Ronon pulled the sheet up over John and settled back in his chair to watch, to stand guard against Sheppard's night demons. Something he'd been doing for a while now. He didn't know what was in the other man's memories – Sheppard didn't reveal that part of himself, kept himself closed off – but Ronon knew Sheppard's memories were unpleasant. Memories that made him toss and turn in his sleep, often crying out names, names that Ronon didn't recognise. He closed his eyes and put his feet up on the bed, watching Sheppard's back as usual.


	6. Chapter 6

Rodney lay quietly on the bed, keeping his breath even. He didn't want Carson to guess that he was awake. Wanted a few moments to compose himself. He wondered how much they knew about what had happened to him, wondered what story Kavanagh had told them. He'd been terrified when he'd initially woken up not knowing if he was still on the planet. So he lay, trying not to tense when his hand was taken, fearful at first that it was Kavanagh until a voice began to softly speak and he realised that it was Carson. The soft voice calming him. Maybe Carson would say something that would give him an idea of how he got back here. Now that he knew he was back on Atlantis it took him a few moments to assess his body, how he felt. He ached in places he didn't want to think about and he could feel the IV running from his left arm. His head was muzzy and thick and he felt like somebody had placed weights on his body. His mouth was dry and his throat sore; sore he guessed from being fucked by Kavanagh. He swallowed and then coughed harshly, the noise breaking through Carson's voice and the soft hum of the machines in the background.

"Rodney."

He cracked open his eyes, blinking against the bright light, the clear white of Atlantis. He coughed again and Carson let go of his hand, stood up. He returned quickly, with some ice chips and Rodney gratefully sucked on one, the coolness easing his throat, stretching out the time before he must speak. Carson passed him some more and then leaning over he gently wiped over Rodney's eyes with a damp cloth. His bulk blocked out the light for a moment and Rodney let out a frightened whimper, instinctively cringing back, away from Carson.

He watched as Carson sat back, his face sombre as he stared at him.

"How ..." he coughed again, surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded. "How did I get here?"

Colonel Sheppard and Ronon brought you back."

He stared at Carson, silently willing him to tell him more, to explain, to let him know what they were aware of.

Carson sighed, his eyes were troubled as he looked down at Rodney.

"They found you and ... Dr Kavanagh in your rooms." His voice hardened. "He has been brought back as well but he will be leaving Atlantis."

Rodney closed his eyes, the words confirming everything he didn't want to think about. They knew. He wanted to be sick.

"Rodney ..."

He shook his head, regretting it immediately as it made him feel even queasier. Carson tried to take his hand again but he moved it away. He didn't want Carson touching him, didn't want Carson knowing what had happened to him. Nobody should know about this, but especially Carson. He wasn't prepared to think about why that concerned him more than anything else. He swallowed. He needed to know.

"Who else? He asked, surprised at how faint his voice was.

"Who else what, lad?"

"Who else knows?"

He listened as Carson sighed. "Not many. My Head Nurse, Colonel Sheppard and Ronon, but then they found you. Doctors Weir, Heightmeyer and Radek. That's all."

"That's all is it." He laughed. "You're forgetting a couple of people Carson. You missed Kavanagh and myself off that little list and of course lets not forget our allies, the J'Sdians." He began to laugh, ugly sounds bouncing off the walls, echoing back at him. He heard Carson get up and a moment later he winced as a needle pierced his arm.

He opened his eyes, looked up into Carson's eyes; Carson's beautiful eyes and he knew this was something he could never have. Not now. He didn't even want Carson near him. He felt used and unclean.

"Do you think a sedative will help me forget? Do you think I'll ever forget?" he asked harshly.

"Well ... do you?" the words cut through the air.


	7. Chapter 7

Kavanagh tightened his hand on his shoulder bag. His main container of belongings was already in front of the Stargate. He looked around the Gate Room, the people there. His mouth twisted; so few people but then Weir wanted him gone with as little ceremony as possible. As though he was a criminal! He swallowed again at the bitter taste in his mouth. No matter what she thought, what they all thought; Zelenka, Sheppard, Weir and Beckett, he'd be back. They wouldn't be able to stop him once he'd gotten home. He slung the bag over his shoulder and began to descend the stairs, his steps jaunty as though he didn't have a care in the world.

He stared at Sheppard as he reached the bottom of the stairs, saw the way the man's hand tightened on his gun. He smirked and threw the man a mocking salute. He still hadn't forgiven the man for assaulting him. Sheppard glared at him and his smirk widened.

He looked over at the control consoles. Zelenka stood, his arms folded, scowling as he watched the gate technician manning the consoles. Zelenka's eyes caught his own and then they slid away.

Kavanagh strode over to the gate. He didn't bother looking around, he'd be back. He didn't need any last looks to remind him of what he was leaving, what he was possibly losing for ever if things didn't work out as they should back home.

He ignored Weir's false farewell, waited until the wormhole was fixed and then he pushed his container forward before stepping through the Stargate into the event horizon.

_Soon._ he thought. _Soon, I'll be back._

************

As Dr Kavanagh stepped through the Stargate there was a bright light, a groaning sound and then the wormhole folded in on itself and there was nothing to show that there had been anything there. Alarms began to ring through the gate room.

Elizabeth stared in shock at the Stargate, at the empty space inside it. A space that moments before held a wormhole. A wormhole that Dr Kavanagh unwillingly, but at her command, stepped through.  
Her responsibility. She flinched as the alarms continued to sound around her, the noise cutting through the stunned silence like a sharp knife through flesh.

"Could you turn that off please?" she asked the gate technician. _Chuck._ she reminded herself. _His name is Chuck._

"Yes, Ma'am." he answered. She closed her eyes for a moment in relief as the alarms stopped.

"Do we know if he got through?" she asked.

He gave her a worried look. "I don't think he did, Ma'am. It looks as though the wormhole collapsed whilst he was still in it and I can't raise Earth. But Dr Zelenka should be able to tell you."

"Yes." she turned and looked over at Zelenka. He was hunched over a console, muttering to himself whilst trying to find out what caused the Stargate to malfunction. Her gaze sharpened and she looked over at John. The colonel was staring at the Stargate seemingly lost in thought, his face a perfect blank mask.

"Yes," she said again. "I'm sure Dr Zelenka will be able to tell me, but I suspect you're right. Dr Kavanagh didn't make it to Earth."


End file.
